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“But I can feel your love, as strong as mine” – Arjun B
In short, we all desire love in some form or other, like friendship, parents, siblings, and most desired a lover’s love.
Today let's discuss love, the romantic, heartbreaking, passionate love.
But why do you desire someone?
It is not forever, it breaks your heart into million pieces, and it will make you cry on those lonely nights, where you feel closer to the dark sky and far from your lover.
Dilkashi (Attraction): The first of attraction, the first sigh of longing.
Uns (Attachment): At this stage, she is developing her interest in him and decides to woo her or just ignore him and give him the chance to woo her.
Mohobbat (Love): She starts feeling at top of the world, butterflies in her mind lost in thoughts of her beloved. This is the most euphoric of all stages.
Akidat (Trust): She started trusting him more than anything and anyone.
Ibadat (Worship): Her love reaches the extend of worshiping him.
Junoo (Madness): She finds her own identity incomplete without him, a stage of obsession.
Maut (Death): The final stage of love, DEATH, where the self-identity is completely lost.
Now back to the main question, why are we so crazy about love.....
Childhood Neglect: The theory the psychologist propose is that people who crave love usually do this because they grew up without affection or emotional intimacy. It’s like one needs to be holding them in their arms and tell them loving words. If this is the reason for the love, it feels like a black hole consuming them from inside.
Procreate Babies: German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer maintained that love, based on sexual desire and makes babies. This is the biological theory of the crazy need for love, creating a mini us in this oblivious world. This theory also tangled sex and creating babies. We love (read Sex) because our desires lead us to believe that another person will make us happy.
According to this, men like Ovulation women as they can reproduce.
I really don’t think the theory is enough to explain the mystery of love, anyhow, who doesn’t like sex.
Escape from our Loneliness: Well, we all relate to this. It’s like someone fills the vacuum that we are carrying. However, the type and loneliness various time to time, hence the type of lover. This quality is often seen in people with high emotional intelligence, poets, and writers.
প্রেম আসলে ছন্নছাড়া,
দৌড়ে বেড়ায় এদিক ওদিক,
শূন্য মন ভরায় যে,
সেই আমার তখন প্রেমিক।
A loose translation...
Love is aimless, roaming around all day. Whoever can fill the vacuum of my heart, is my love for the time being.
Love is Misleading affliction: Gautama Buddha said we love because we are trying to satisfy our basic desires of companionship. However, our passionate cravings are defects, and the end attachment even if it is romantic love, results in a great source of suffering.
Love lets us reach beyond ourselves: French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir proposed that love is the desire to be one with another and it supposes to infuse our lives with meaning.
She advised to love authentically; it is more like a great friendship. Like a mutual support system, each other in discovering themselves, reaching beyond themselves, and enriching their lives as well as the world, together.
Though it is literally impossible to know why we fall in love, one thing is certain that it’ll be an emotional rollercoaster ride.
We lose ourselves.
We find ourselves.
It might end in heartbreak or the best thing in life.
Hence, the moral of the story, love is the pain and is the cure and we humans are powerless in front of it.
“I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you. No mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed.” A.S. Byatt
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