Anicca

Hope you are doing well.

By the time you will be mature enough to understand this letter, I don’t think, you will even remember me. However, that is not going to stop me from writing to you today.

I hope your mom reads this letter to you or lets you read it by yourself when you are old enough to understand.

I know it seems weird to believe for kids that their parents were also their age once. Like you, I was a five-year-old girl once... lost, clueless and unable to communicate properly, desperately looking for a cocoon.

However, I didn’t get it. What I did get was criticism (not constructive), labels (in the 90s, most people did not know what to call someone who was different. So they just called me problematic, crazy, mad, etc...), and last but not the least, shame and guilt.

People drove my mother crazy with such talks, and most of the time they came from so-called family members and well-wishers.

I feel so much pain to admit this, but my mother was not able to cope with the immense criticism for her daughter, especially, when her elder daughter was the so-called good girl. Hence, what I received from her is beating, shaming and criticism.

And because my mother did this to me, I had no other option than to believe that I was problematic.

This all killed the creative, imaginative kid, and gave born to a very insecure child. And what I did to hide that insecurity, was be naughtier, reject all forms of institutionalised education, try to find comfort in my pain and tell myself I am not good.

It took me a lot of time (around 15 years), to come to terms with my uniqueness, my creativity, and the beauty of my imagination. I accept the fact that I am not like most other people and I love that about myself. And I have people in my life who love me because of all the things that make me different.

I am not ashamed or guilty to be myself. I am straightforward, blunt and have the guts to tell someone the truth to their face.

AND, I will not accept anything less than someone who accepts me unconditionally.

You are very young my dear.

Don’t let those bullies get the best of you, embrace your creativity, and don’t hide behind aggression and aloofness to mask your insecurities.

You have been criticized for things that are not wrong, like the way you sit and talk. You are from a multilingual family, and it is normal for kids from such families to speak a little late as they are coping with two or more languages.

People who criticize you do not want a child, they want a puppet to control and you are no one’s marionette.

I know for sure, that one day you will overcome all this. Embrace your choices, and move towards what makes you happy. You are blessed with an amazing mother who is trying her best to give you the childhood you deserve.

Be you Nayomi, be the best version of you. 

With Lots of Love and Affection,

Piu Aunty