Somewhere along the way, silence became a problem to be solved. Sitting alone at a party? Someone must come to your rescue. Not participating in a group activity? Clearly, you need encouragement. Quietly enjoying your own space? Oh no, we can’t have that. Because in a world that glorifies constant interaction, stillness is mistaken for loneliness, and solitude is seen as a cry for help.

As an introvert, I’ve spent years dodging well-meaning but relentless attempts to make me more social, as if my natural state is something to be fixed. At social gatherings (the ones I can’t avoid, anyway), I’m perfectly happy sitting in a corner, observing, or simply existing without feeling the need to contribute to the collective noise. But that’s rarely an option. Someone always thinks they’re doing me a favor by dragging me into a conversation, a party game, or—worst of all—to the dance floor. Because in their mind, I can’t possibly be enjoying myself if I’m not talking, moving, or otherwise proving my engagement.

It’s exhausting. And frankly, it’s time for a perspective shift.

This blog post isn’t about how introverts can “come out of their shells.” It’s not another list of ways we can learn to navigate a world that never stops talking. We have enough of those already. No, this is for the extroverts—the ones who thrive on energy, who can’t stand silence, who equate stillness with boredom, and who feel the need to fill every moment with noise.

Let’s flip the script. What if, instead of pushing introverts to be louder, extroverts learned to be quieter? What if you discovered that peace exists beyond constant conversation? That silence doesn’t need to be awkward, and not everyone is desperate to be included?

This is your guide to embracing the lost art of silence and, more importantly, learning when to just let introverts be.

No, We’re Not Broken: Myths About Introverts

For some reason, introversion is often treated like an unfortunate condition—something that needs to be fixed, managed, or overcome.

“You should speak up more!”

“You just need to get out more...”
“You’d have more fun if you joined in!” 

“You just need to come out of your shell!”

These are the well-meaning but utterly exhausting phrases introverts hear all the time.

So, let’s set the record straight. Here are some of the most persistent myths about introverts—debunked, once and for all.

1. Introverts are just shy.

No, introversion and shyness are not the same thing. Shyness is about fear of social judgment, while introversion is about energy. An introvert can be completely comfortable speaking in front of a crowd and still want to go home afterward and sit in silence for three hours.

2. Introverts don’t like people.

We like people. We just don’t like all people, all the time, in all settings. There’s a difference. Introverts value deep, meaningful connections, but the idea of filling every silence with small talk is pure torture.

3. Introverts don’t have fun.

Just because we don’t express excitement the same way extroverts do doesn’t mean we’re not enjoying ourselves. We don’t need to scream, jump, or dance to confirm that we’re having a good time. Sometimes, the best kind of fun is sitting in a quiet café, reading a book, or having a one-on-one conversation that doesn’t involve yelling over loud music.

4. Introverts are bad at socializing.

Introverts can be great at socializing. They just do it differently. Instead of bouncing from one person to another, they prefer quality over quantity—fewer interactions, but deeper ones. Also, they don’t believe in talking just for the sake of talking. Silence is perfectly fine, and no, it’s not awkward.

5. Introverts need to ‘come out of their shell.’

This is probably the most frustrating myth of them all. There is no “shell.” This is our personality. An introvert sitting quietly in a group isn’t waiting to be “saved” from themselves. They’re just… fine. Imagine that.

6. Introverts don’t like attention.

Not necessarily true. Some introverts love being in the spotlight—on their own terms. Many actors, musicians, and public speakers are introverts. The difference is, they need time to recharge afterward, whereas extroverts might thrive on the attention and seek more of it.

7. Introverts can’t be friends with extroverts.

Introverts and extroverts can be great friends—as long as there’s mutual respect. The key is understanding that introverts don’t always want to hang out, and that’s not a sign of disinterest. Sometimes, silence is just our way of being present. Almost all of my close friends are extroverts - they understand that I'd rather just observe than participate.

8. Introverts are always quiet.

Oh, we can be very loud—when we actually have something to say. Give an introvert a topic they’re passionate about, put them with the right people, or just catch them in the right mood, and they’ll talk your ear off. The difference? We don’t feel the need to fill silence. If there’s nothing important to say, we’re perfectly happy just existing in the moment.

Now that we’ve cleared up some misconceptions, let’s move on to the real challenge—helping extroverts embrace quiet and resist the urge to fix what isn’t broken.

Silence Isn’t Awkward—You Just Don’t Know What to Do With It

Let’s talk about silence. That vast, terrifying void where no one is talking, no music is playing, and—heaven forbid—no one is performing social energy exchanges every five seconds.

For some people, silence is peaceful. For others, it’s an unbearable abyss that must be filled with noise, chatter, or the first random thought that pops into their head (“So, uh… crazy weather, huh?”). If you fall into the second category, I have news for you: silence is not the enemy. You’ve just never learned how to sit with it.

Think about it. When was the last time you sat with someone in comfortable silence? No checking your phone, no feeling the urge to fill the gap, no background noise—just existing in the same space without pressure. If that idea makes you itch, then congratulations, you’ve just found your next personal growth challenge.

The truth is... silence only feels awkward if you believe it should be. But it doesn’t have to be. It’s just another form of communication—one that introverts are fluent in. Sometimes, the best moments aren’t the ones crammed with endless words, but the ones where you can just be.

Now, if you’re wondering, “Okay, but what am I supposed to do with silence?”—don’t worry, we’re getting there. Up next: a few practical tips on how to embrace quiet, respect introverts’ space, and maybe, just maybe, discover the joys of shutting up every once in a while.

How To Be Quiet (Without Exploding):

So, you’ve made it this far. You now know that introverts aren’t secretly miserable in silence, and you’ve accepted that not every moment needs to be filled with words. Great progress! But what now? How do you actually do quiet? How do you resist the overwhelming urge to fill every silence, drag introverts into activities, or—let’s be honest—just keep talking?

Don’t worry. I got you. Here are some practical ways to embrace quiet and, in turn, become the kind of extrovert that introverts actually enjoy being around.

1. Learn to sit with silence.

I know, I know. Silence feels weird at first. But instead of rushing to fill it, try sitting with it. Let a conversation pause without scrambling for a follow-up question. This maybe a perfect time to 'reflect' internally. Trust me, it won’t kill you.

2. Stop assuming quiet = uncomfortable.

If an introvert is sitting alone, they’re not silently begging you to rescue them. If a conversation has a lull, it doesn’t mean the vibe is ruined. If you let go of the idea that silence is awkward, you’ll realize it’s actually… peaceful.

3. Don’t force social activities on introverts.

Look, we get it—you love a good party game, group activity, or spontaneous karaoke session. Good for you. But if an introvert is clearly not interested, let them be. Stop with the “Come on, just try it!” If they wanted to, they would.

4. Lower your volume.

This one is simple. Just… talk a little softer. Not every conversation requires maximum enthusiasm, vocal projection, and hand gestures that could knock over a drink. Sometimes, a calm, normal-toned conversation is enough.

5. Respect the “Irish Exit.”

You know that moment when an introvert just disappears from the party without saying goodbye? That’s called an Irish Exit. And no, it’s not rude—it’s survival. If they’ve had enough socializing for the day, respect it. No dramatic “Where are you going?!” Just let them slip away in peace.

6. Be mindful of personal space.

Some extroverts love physical touch—hugs, shoulder pats, leaning in close. Introverts? Not always. Before you invade an introvert’s bubble, read the room. If they stiffen up when you go in for a hug, maybe… don’t.

7. Give introverts time to warm up.

Introverts don’t always jump into conversations with the same energy as extroverts. Instead of bombarding them with questions or expecting instant engagement, let them ease into it. The more comfortable they feel, the more likely they are to actually want to interact.

8. Accept that “No” is a complete sentence.

If an introvert declines an invitation, don’t push. Don’t guilt-trip. Don’t launch into “But why not? It’ll be so much fun!” Just accept the answer and move on. They’ll appreciate you for it.

9. Text first. Always.

Before calling, or video calling, or just showing up, send a text. Give the introvert a chance to mentally prepare. Unannounced social interaction is a crime against introverts, punishable by days (or even months) of avoidance.

10. Try doing something quiet for a change.

Instead of planning yet another loud, high-energy gathering, try a low-key activity—reading in the same room, watching a movie without constant commentary, or just taking a quiet walk. You might be surprised how much you enjoy it.

At the end of the day, this isn’t about changing who you are. It’s just about recognizing that not everyone thrives in constant noise and interaction. Respecting introverts’ need for quiet isn’t just about making them comfortable—it’s also a chance for you to experience a different kind of peace.

So, take a deep breath. Embrace the silence. And maybe, just maybe, learn to enjoy the sound of nothing.

The concept of self-care and self-love has gained immense popularity. It is everywhere. People are talking about it across all social media platforms and  you hear about it in everyday conversations. However, if you really pay attention, it becomes quite apparent that many people discuss it without fully understanding it.

We have all been guilty of this at times - talking up things that we learn before understanding it completely. Personally, I too have been advocating for self-care for almost five years. Though with each passing year I have learnt and discovered more ~ its been a journey of continuous reading, watching, and learning.

Defining Self-Care / Self-Love

Discovering True Self-Love

Embracing Self-Love: A Call to Action

Mrs. B said these words with so much confidence and conviction that for moment I could not wonder but thought…

“Is she my master or something, that is telling me what to and what not to wear? At the same time, she is so generous to give me the permission to wear whatever I want to wear indoors.”

Again, who gets to decide what is revealing? In Afghanistan, wearing a Burka which does not cover your face is revealing. At the same there are beaches in the world where walking naked is not revealing.

This answer didn’t impress her. Rather it made her only more eager to prove her point that what I wear, I wear it to get negative attention (read sexual attention) from men.

Hence, she came at me with her big guns.

“Somewhere a four-year girl got raped by the milk man because her mom wore short clothes and the milk man couldn’t rape the mom, so he raped the little girl and killed her.”

WOW, I did NOT have a response to that. It is like my actions will cause something so horrible to my daughter that I can’t even imagine it even in my worst nightmare. And someone actually said this out loud. 

Should I cry because of the pain she caused me or tell her to fuck off?

I don’t know what to do. I am numb. I left the premise.

After I reached home, my immediate response was immense anger. After I had calmed down, I realized what she was trying to do. She was trying to SLUT-SHAME me.

Slut-Shaming

Slut-shaming is the practice of criticizing people, especially women and girls, who are perceived to violate expectations of behavior and appearance regarding issues related to sexuality. The term is used to reclaim the word slut and empower women and girls to have agency over their own sexuality.

I know exactly why she was doing this, point to point, but this is not about her, it’s about all of the people who think it’s their birth right to slut shame others, especially girls.

Some Basic examples of slut shaming

Blaming the girl:

Mocking someone else’s sexual practices because to you, they are “weird.”:

Assuming a girl is only dressing up to impress guys:

Why Someone slut shame others

How to stop Slut Shaming

"I use my talent AND my sexuality all the time because I choose to. Women can be sexual AND talented. Naked and dignified. It’s OUR choice," - Ariana Grande

Source: Candy Cigarette by Sally Mann (Conscientious)

I know that look… I know that you are judging me right at this moment. See, if I care… Once upon a time, I would have cared but now I don’t. Not any more.

I was once like you – pure and innocent.  But I did not have a childhood like yours. Nor did I have the choices that you did. My life has been different from the very beginning. Why you ask? I do not know as I do not see any difference between you and me. I see the same heart and the same blood in both of us. We breathe in the same air and walk on the same earth. The same things hurt us and the same things bring us joy. Yet, my life is different from yours. Why you ask? Truthfully, I do not know.

People tell me it is because I dared to be born as a girl child in a family that craved only for a son. I was just a mistake conceived in a flurry of passion and regretted from the moment of my birth. No one cared that my sex was not my choice. No one cared that at I had the same need for attention and affection. No one cared that I can work just as hard and love even more. My younger brother was nourished and cherished, while I learnt to live on one meal a day – sometimes on even less. I was reminded every day that he was strong while I was weak. That my brother would grow up, earn and look after my parents while I would grow up and would need to be married off at the cost of a heavy dowry. I would always drain their blood and money. When my family could not afford the basic necessities, they sold off their only liability, me, in exchange for a meagre amount of cash that would keep their hunger at bay for a month. My cries and pleas did not move my parents. I was just a burden they were getting rid of.

From the age of six, I have been trained in every way possible to be successful at my trade. After all, I had to work off my family’s debt. I was only a little girl – fighting back wasn't an option. So, I learned the tricks and did my job even though it made me sick and hurt my insides. While numerous men enjoyed my flesh and ravaged my body, it did not matter if I wanted it or liked it or hated it – it was my job and I had to do it. I know you think that girls like me are in this business because it is an easy way to earn money or because it is pleasurable. But let me assure you that being beaten, whipped, tortured or used as an ashtray just to satisfy some sadistic need is neither a short cut nor is it pleasurable. Unlike you, I was not taught not to smoke or drink; instead it became my only escape. I felt violated, I felt trapped and I felt choked in my life but no one cared. Once again, my pleas for help fell on to deaf ears – I was yet to justify my existence.

It took me some time but I finally realized something… It doesn't matter whether anyone cared or not because no one can see beyond my flesh. You cannot see the pain in my eyes or the hurt in my heart or the broken dreams. It does not matter to you that I did not have the childhood I deserved or the love and affection that was my birth right. I do not deserve the prejudice you have against me and I do deserve the same respect as you. I warrant the same chance at happiness and the same encouragement to chase my dreams.

Did you ever stop to wonder who I am?

I am little girl with an old soul. My experiences have aged me far more than my years on this earth. I am a woman who is beyond any care in the world. After years of crying and begging, I know not to expect warmth or understanding or even a spare thought. So, why should I care for those who have always turned their backs and blind eyes away from me? I am a gentle spirit who has been pushed around for far too long. I am done being treated as a burden or a liability. I am tired of justifying my existence with every breath I take. I am just another human being who has been on the edge and back. My dreams and desires have been broken so many times, yet my soul and spirit survives.

I am the uncensored reflection of most women you know. Some trade in their freedom and some trade in their emotions. Some do it voluntarily and some do it involuntarily. Some do it in the name of love, some in the name of marriage and some do it in the name of family. All those little things that you take for granted from them, all those little compromises you expect them to make – brings her a step closer to what I unabashedly am. Every time you think she is weak, every time you try to suppress her, every time you take her choices away – you make her a little more like me. Crush her innocence, crush her dreams, crush her aspirations – she just gets a step closer to where I am.

I know that look… I know that you are judging me right at this moment. See, if I care… Once upon a time, I would have cared but now I don’t. Not any more. 

So, judge me all you want – for my actions and for the choices You think I have made. It does not matter because you are merely judging the piece of flesh that you see. 

Now the point is, we all talk about female stereotypes, we all fight it in our own way (I hope we all do). But face it, female stereotypes are the real issue, but we also need to address the other elephant in the room, the male stereotypes. They are so interconnected that we can’t move forwards without addressing both issues.

According to various analysts and researchers, male characters fall within a range of stereotypes. 

The most popular stereotypes of male characters are:

The Joker: The funny who no one takes seriously, he is there just for the comic relief, most importantly, no girl wants to date him.

The Jock: He is athletic, muscular, date the sexiest girl, is usually dumb, and sucks at studies.

The Strong Silent Type: He exudes strength by taking action without expressing or worrying about their emotions. He loves to deny his emotions and feelings. Denial is his poison. 

The Big Shot: These are the people who think they are mighty or they are acting like they are better than everybody else when in reality they are not.

The Action Hero: This is the one with a savior complex. It’s his job to save someone, especially a girl. We see them everywhere with their inflated muscles and egos. 

The Buffoon: Commonly described as a bungling father figure. They are usually well-intentioned and light-hearted, however completely hopeless when it comes to parenting, dealing with domestic or career issues.

However, when we dig dipper, one common theme in all the stereotypes are “be a man, suck it up,”

Let us see what are the most common male stereotypes:

Vulnerability: The biggest stereotyped male behaviour is showing Vulnerability. Hey are suppose to be the MAN, can’t ask for help, can’t show fear, he will not express his love, in short, a robot with muscles.

And when they actually ask for help, they have penalized for the challenge of this notion.

Emotions (Sadness): The only emotion a man is allowed to show is his anger. In various cultures, men are socialized to be stoic.

And when they show any other emotion other than anger they are showed with amazing adjectives like being pussy.

Love for Sports: Men are supposed to love sports, especially the aggressive ones, like rugby, football, basketball.

Control their woman: A man have to be in control of his home, especially his wife. If one can’t control their wife, it’s a big shame.

Modesty: Men are expected to be proud of their achievements. Research shows that men who were more modest about their qualifications were evaluated as less likable.

Now, what we can do about it…

The simplest answer here is to teach our children to be more compassionate to everyone, celebrate men who dare to express their emotions, broaden gender stereotypical roles, most importantly do not gender police.

Let’s start this discussion with the wise words of Nelson Mandela,

“We slaughter one another in our words and attitudes. We slaughter one another in the stereotypes and mistrust that linger in our heads, and the words of hate we spew from our lips.” 

I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa.

TheBeachcleanupclub (Silent volunteers): Thebeachcleanupclub club was started by 3 friends (Ramesh, Jitesh, Satyanand Prasad).

It all started when they went to the beach a day and got really annoyed with the plastic been piled up all over. Instead of blaming the government or the people around, they thought why don't we clean up the beach whenever it is possible for each of us.

The idea eventually transformed into weekend cleanup drives. It was a great thought working for nature, for the just two hours of our weekends.

Mission:
We need to create awareness in people in terms of why the waste is been pumped up on the shore, 70% of the plastic which is been filled on the shore is from the drainage which dumps the wastewater to the beach along with the plastic waste. We need to educate people not to throw plastic waste like (Milk packets, oil packets, and other plastics) into the drainage in front of their houses, instead, they can store them and give them to GVMC people or to any recycling organizations so that they can make eco-products out of it.

We urge people around,
“We all live in this Mother Earth and we are responsible for the things we are doing around. Every single conscious initiative we take towards plastic usage would really make this world a beautiful place" 

Vision:
TheBeachcleanupclub is not an organization or an NGO, we are a bunch of friends who took this decision to do better things for this Mother Nature.

We would love to expand our wings towards different activities like planting trees, educating children on this, etc. that way we all are going to make a huge difference to our environment.

And just like that, I am part of a group which actually is making a difference in their small way.

We clean various beaches in Vizag.

I made a very good friend name Srikant, he is kind of crazy like me. While cleaning, we chat all the time.

Apart from him, there is Ananda, who is super good at cleaning. Rosy, beauty with brain and I am pulling her legs all the time.  Ramesh, he is so serious all the time. Jitesh, he is so dedicated with some crazy hair.

We have collected at least 2000 beer bottles (I had no idea people drink so much), more than a ton of plastics, and many more items.

To sum it up, all I can say is, this is the very first time in my life, I look forward to waking up early in the morning that is also on weekends. This is a big improvement for a lazy-ass person like me. I look forward to the Sundays, meeting fellow beach cleaners, and continue making a difference in my tiny way.

Happy Cleaning

Not so long ago, there was an advertisement where a girl gets rejected from an air hostess’s institution for being too dark-skinned. And her father decided to take revenge. He made some sort of cream which made her skin fair.

And...bingo...she got the job. I think in the subtext, she even marries the company’s CEO.

And I have another one, this one is from last year.

The most talented Kiara Advani (the brilliant actress from Kabir Singh, who took her acting fee for a silent role and no acting) suggesting another girl use some fairness cream, and hence become worthy of “Kala Tika”. Apparently, it is not needed for dark skin people.

I am not criticizing advertisements; I just wish that life was that easy. If only having a fair skin tone could solve all your problems in life. Unfortunately, life is much more difficult, complex.

Hence, let’s talk about shadeism.

According to Baba Google,

“Discrimination based on skin colour, also known as colourism, or shadeism is a form of prejudice and/or discrimination in which people who share similar ethnicity traits or perceived race are treated differently based on the social implications that come with the cultural meanings that are attached to skin colour.”

In simple words, if you are fair life is better for you in some ways and if you have dark skin, only God can help you.

Here are a few examples of how shadeism works.

➨ I have heard multiple times in my life that my parents have to give a lot of dowry in order to get me married. Unfortunately, my husband didn’t even receive a penny. That’s what you get when you marry a feminist, no money and a lot of opinions.

➨ Between me and my hubby, I am comparatively lighter skin. When my daughter was born someone gave a compliment… well she thought it is a compliment that my daughter is lucky not to have her father’s skin colour. I was about to kill her (hormones), then I thought; I can’t survive in jail, and ended up telling her to fuck off in the most subtle way possible.

➨ In the recent past, someone called me exotic. Disclaimer alert, it’s not my husband, we are married for 7 years, adjective games are over between us. Well, back to the topic, here exotic is not at all a compliment. It is a subtle way to say you are dark yet fuckable.

The examples will never end, not for me, and not for any other dark skin person.

Now the question is, why?

The most simplified way to describe this is...

“In India, the words for fair and beautiful are synonymous”.

Most of the research suggests,  shadeism have their roots in slavery and colonialism. We Indians were ruled by fair-skinned Britishers (so-called civilized folks) for around 200 years. Even after the end of colonialism, this idea has been deeply entrenched into our minds, hence society. The concept that fair is equal to superior is so much ingrown in our mind that, it became practically impossible to overcome. This is the bitter truth even today, where George Floyd got murdered because of his skin colour. 

This is the unfortunate truth of our society. 

Hence the final thought, what needs to be done? 

It is as simple and as difficult at the same time – we need to unlearn that black is a bad concept. And teach the same to our children.

In the end, what Martin Luther King, Jr. said…

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character.”