Life is hard with a toddler, life is
very hard with one toddler and one unofficial toddler (read: husband), and it
is extremely difficult with both of them at home because of this lockdown. It’s
almost like, if the lockdown goes on any longer, the mothers’ union will manage
to create a vaccine to send their toddlers to school and office respectively.
My three-year-old daughter is a mini
version of me. God! She is a smart baby; asking questions the entire time and challenging
every single rule. All these questioning and challenging rules are fun when I
am doing it, however, when a three-year-old refuses to listen to you and argue,
it just drives me crazy. And the mighty husband enjoys the show from the front
seat.
While having a crazy quarantine, I
was thinking about my pregnancy and what struck me most is that I wanted a boy
child and I am not ashamed of it.
My whole life, I really considered
myself a feminist, and most of my actions reflected that. One of the best compliments
I ever received is from my MBA classmate who called me a true fearless
feminist.
But when I became pregnant the first
thing that came to my mind was that I wanted a boy. And that very thing felt so
damn wrong. On one hand, I claimed to be a feminist, belief in equality, and on
the other hand, I wished to have a boy. I should have been wishing for a
healthy baby, irrespective of the sex of the baby.
That very thought haunted me for
days. On Surface, It seems like I just want a boy child. But it was only when I
dug deeper that I discovered the real reason why I wanted a boy child.
One thing is very clear in our society, not only in India but the whole world, it is primarily a male-dominated society whether we like it or not. Still, there are some people, called feminists (I swear to god, it sounds like an abusive word nowadays) who still dare to believe in equality, striving for a society, which is based on equal rights, equal choice, and equal opportunity. In most cases, the work of feminism was concentrated on the independence of women, women empowerment, equal pay, equal job opportunity, equal opportunity for education, etc. And we have created a generation of ladies who are independent, smart, intelligent, and ready to take on any responsibility and do what is needed.
One thing is very clear in our society, not only in India but the whole world, it is primarily a male-dominated society whether we like it or not. Still, there are some people, called feminists (I swear to god, it sounds like an abusive word nowadays) who still dare to believe in equality, striving for a society, which is based on equal rights, equal choice, and equal opportunity. In most cases, the work of feminism was concentrated on the independence of women, women empowerment, equal pay, equal job opportunity, equal opportunity for education, etc. And we have created a generation of ladies who are independent, smart, intelligent, and ready to take on any responsibility and do what is needed.
No matter what, one thing we all can
agree, the two genders are an equal part of our society, and in order to
achieve holistic growth we need to address both genders, only making our girls
independent won’t solve the problem. However, men, in general, are not used to such independent women. Someone once told me, you are too smart to be
a woman. And he received a very polite reply from me, i.e. “you are too
dumb to be a man”. Sadly, this answer does not even come close to generate a real
change in our society.
What we mothers, parents' families
really have to do is construct a generation of men who are ready for
independent women, take them as their friends, wife, sister, mother, and not be
afraid of their intelligence.
And that is the reason for me
wanting a Boy Child. I wanted to raise a man who treats all humans equally,
who is very good at household work, earns his own living, takes care of a baby,
in short, can do everything a woman can do.
All human beings are equal, but
the challenge here is to raise men who are equal to women.
My mini version of me sleeping
beside me, while I am writing this, and I am proud of her for every smart
little things she does, for every question she asks and challenges the societal
gender norms in her own kiddy way, I still want to raise a boy to show the world that there is a man who can cook, clean, wash, babysit, work, earn, love
and be a MAN.
